I hope it helps a little – especially the part about you not being alone! My career has been stalled because “I lack the self confidence” well no wonder. She says she loves me in passing, but I feel she no longer shows me that she loves me. We dropped our lives and moved to California with his mom. Am I right? all you can do is work on you and change things for the better, I wanted my marriage to work got coaching read books & websites. Then you should be mad at the culture that raised you to think, “A man will never stray if the woman in his life keeps him interested in the bedroom. shown in me by my wife. I’m sorry that your husband had an affair, and really, really sorry that he still has feelings for her. IT’s a power thing. This was quite a surprise to me given that when we dated, it looked like a very healthy family to me. What was a full-blown smack in the head was a number of searches on dating sites, google, chat forums about “how to date a married woman”, “pitfalls of dating a married woman” “why men talk dirty online”, “how not to be a pervert”, even for terms like “eating man’s cake”. Now that our divorce is final and I am officially single I need to find ways to be happy. You are deserving of a happy and healthy relationship and don’t you forget it! Talking to my husband and is like What I don’t understand is if he didn’t want me he had so many times to leave and divorce me. He is extremely remorseful after he hits me. He says things are uncontrolable and you just have to go with the flow. “My husband and I have been together since high school and got married 12 years ago,” said Jessie on How to Know if Your Husband Still Loves You. My husband is a really great guy and father, unless your married to him. My child welcomed the fact, although only young sensed the tension. Once we moved in he changed so much… I get it once you move in together you get to know the REAL person you married. She gets no pay for the show, it is quite popular and she goes out usually when she is there with her local girlfriends some married, some divorced and some just barfly’s in their late 40’s looking to hook up and be told their sexy. It’s time to stop making these money mistakes and find common ground. That I am making subtle hints that I just need him to come up behind me and hug me, just to show me he’s still there, but he doesnt notice this. This March 2012 I discovered my husband has been seeing another woman. I was hurt and upset and slammed out door upstairs. and how do I prevent him from talking me into staying especially when I KNOW that it would be bad? And it hurts because this is not a life I want I feel and know that I have so much more ahead of me. He insisted it was not my fault and there was no other woman. Most of what he says to me are either critical remarks or orders. And, be open to meeting another man one day — one who will be a true partner in marriage! Start looking through the rentals, or ask if you can stay with a family member or friend until you get back on your feet. We just do not communicate well. How SMUG of you to come on waxing lyrical about children from two parent families much better off that from broken homes etc? There can be no excuse for adultery in a healthy marriage. No, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable for wanting a healthy sex life in your marriage! May 28, 2012 at 10:53 pm”. I’ve told him that he is unpredictable when he is that way. Seeing him hurts so bad yes he will give me a peck on my lips and say I love you or good night or by I love you but that doesn’t begin to fill my my dreams ,dreams of feeling love and wanted by him. You know if the love is there. And sex ended many years ago, and recently I got on testosterone therapy for my overall health and depression, and even tho I’m a little frisky again, she wants no part of that! The only thing keeping me here is I love the house we bulit together even though he treats is like a trash can. I can understand how you feel. I do the smaller ones. I need to know what I can do to change this, to make my marriage strong again. I would just like to add my final two pence worth! we almost lost our home because he couldn’t go look for a job because of his depression. Depression and soul seraching are normal reactions. This is ironic because couples often go to marriage counseling to learn to “communicate better.” They learn how to be honest and open about their feelings, they learn how to listen and speak clearly…and they learn that one or both of them has no interest in trying to save their relationship. She gives me and him first class guidance. But here’s the problem. I took a 6 month planned job break in feb 08 which went horribly wrong because the country went into recession. I love roses , hidden gifts , even a card? She is depressed but I am the one that is always to blame and I am SOOOO tired of it. In other words, if you slide into your marriage you may be more likely to slide right on out. One guy because he cheated and can’t stand to think she would even kiss a guy and the other guy jealous cause she won’t OBEY your dresscode? i am really getting tired of arguing with him because it is all non sense. I have no problem with them. If she is trying to get back at me, that means she did not forgive. Sounds nice in theory but I can never stay consistent with that advice for saving a marriage. I hope this helps, and that you come back and let me know how you’re doing! A lack of communication ultimately divides a couple and they seek out those who do communicate with and understand them. We were married in 2007,its was an arranged marriage in India but settled in Melbourne, Australia.we had a baby this 2011 July. How am I going to save this marriage? Jerk. I fell in love with him because of the way he was with her. She was his priority and that was made very clear. I am my new husbands 4th wife. I’m sorry to hear how your husband has changed. After sex I would have this guilty sinking feeling I am hurting her and I just could not take it any more. Happy i was in love,love,love with this man for all those years, and totally blind thinking he loved me back. I also think he has another woman there. I even see my own counselor, but he doesn’t like that. My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married for 8. He was also very sneaky in so many ways. I have 3 children, 2 from a previous relationship. I’m desperate!!! His attempts to do things for me such as help with housework have absolutely no affect on me. I helped provide for him . Years earlier when we were going through a dry spell I found a stash of mags, which I confronted him about, he was so sorry and I’ve never seen any evidence of such activity since. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Finally i woke up i learned what kind of creature he really is! I don’t want to go to him because I done begging and pleading our relationship will work. I have tried everything I know to do for 25 years to communicate with him, and he just won’t give me the time of day. Our spouses have OCPD obsessive Compulsive Personalty Disorder which is not the same as OCD. Please help me! incompatible. I can’t imagine how you struggle to deal with knowing he never told the truth. and the love i had for you gone with time as you made me enough of cry… Praise be!). Required fields are marked *. Common law definitions and laws vary from state to state. DON’T DO IT. So, I got married at 18yrs. I know this is not good and have recently been really considering a separation. I, however, forgave him. This is exactly the way his mother and father set his standards with their horribly abusive relationship producing 4 children that watched their parents go at it. I think in my mind I know it’s over but I cannot bring myself to tell him I want to leave. i cant divorce u. i’ll die if you leave me. He has’t changed. love who u are and evryhting will hopefully line up for you. So you put all women into the b***h category because your situation had the gender attitudes reversed from what you usually read. Your not stupid are drowning in self-pity… You are the victim if media. Forgive and move on or realize that you will be giving up everything you know as your life today. Sometimes I feal a little bad about this since I dont talk much to him and dont tell him a lot, I keep my thoughts to myself and I dont have an opinion. Cheated on my husband twice, and in love with the other. I’m sorry I can’t offer personal advice or counseling, and I will keep sending prayers and healing, positive, loving energy to everyone who comments. If you can’t get someone to work with you then it’s basically over. I have had my job for 25 years and am not wanting to leave my job; I love my job. Really Confused So there is attention. The reason i am possesiveness is that ive seen her talk to her exes all the time and exes to me are a huge red flag, it stopped after we got married and are now expecting a baby, but since then she never would do anything i wanted and i would start to get agitated until one day i blew up. Give it a shot, it might not change things with you wife but you’ll benefit regardless. We were teen parents and then got pregnant again with twins and lost one. He comes home at 2am or 3am in the night. Clearly you should walk brother. No money, no place to go, and the kids? need help understanding what to do or how to feel about this. I dont like being with someone. When you know that you are the problem and see no fix in sight, it might be time to just let him go….. it’s time for him to help pick you up. I didn’t see that he was like this before we married since he put on a good act until we tied the knot. But in him doing what he did he hardened my heart towards him and pushed me into another man who is a childhood friend, who became my best friend. I hope it helps! I’ve had ups and downs, but with my wife complaining months into our marriage while i was trying to serve in our church because i loved to, she complained about the apartment we lived in, she complained about the money i was making, she complained about everything and she started showing her misery with life, then i got sick and was admitted into the hospital. I mean my husband actually talks bad about me behind my back, that can’t be normal, right? The short-term sadness — and heartbreak — of leaving your marriage shouldn’t be the deciding factor, because it’s a sad event in life. These 10 ways to help a husband who drinks too much are partly based on my work in a residential recovery program with men who are alcoholics and drug addicts. A little background about the lady: He is a high level contractor and she is an entry level employee in a different department. I don’t know. We have had physical fights where I’ve pushed her or grabbed her our communication is zero, she is always on the edge unapproachable and very controlling . He has changed so much over the past few months that i just could take anymore. I try to just hold it in and hope things get better but he irritates me so bad with his need to debate all the time. We travelled alot together and have an amazing sexually chemistry, Apart from that ….. not much else.